Can’t everyone just get along? It all seems so straightforward, the landlord is profiting, you’re getting a place to call home, let’s all just be happy together. Unfortunately, as with any relationship, it’s just not that simple. Landlord relations are particularly complex. After all, this relationship affects how you live and, of course, your money.

Just as landlords and tenants can be mutually beneficial to one another, each holds enough power to make the other, well, miserable. Everyone seems so hopeful about this adventure you’re about to embark on together at the lease signing. But when an appliance breaks, when the terms of the lease weren’t clear to both parties, when reality sinks in, it can leave the best of us wondering how did this happen and how do you move forward without fighting like 13 year olds?

Some people hate conflict, other people thrive off it. Regardless of how you feel, it’s important to breathe and take a step back from all the emotions.  Problems with where you live are stressful and frustrating, and rental or not, this is your home. You want your rental to feel secure and comfortable, it’s your space that you work hard to pay for.  But your wants may not be high on your landlord’s priority list.  Why?  This is business.

The landlord is charging for a service he is contracted to provide.  You are contracted to pay for a service.  It is as simple and straightforward as that.  So, when things become frustrating (or overwhelming), it’s time to go back to the basics and remind yourself, “This is business.”

You seemed nice when you wanted to rent the landlords property.  They seemed nice when they had someone to rent their property.  You could only hope that they would be as nice when their property needs their attention, right?  That can’t be what you rely on in business, you have to prepare.  Protect yourself and ensure you read your lease, every single line of it.  If you have concerns address them right then and there.  Don’t settle for being told, “don’t worry about that, it doesn’t apply to this property.”  If it doesn’t apply or it isn’t right, it shouldn’t be in your lease (i.e. paint).  If something is in your lease that shouldn’t be, ensure it is taken out (or added) before you sign.  Get it in writing (now read those four words about 100 times and apply it to all landlord/tenant communications).

It seems pretty black and white, right?  Ok, now get your gray crayon out, because you don’t want to be to quick to abandon the personal side of things.  What is contractually agreed upon is going to be your security.  The professional relationship is the gray area that will grease the wheels.  The relationship you build with your landlord could be the difference to whether you WANT to help one another, or whether you whole-heartedly dread every contractual battle.  This relationship will determine the formality in which issues need to be addressed.  Whether you can email or text the landlord that something isn’t working, or whether you need to be prepared with lease in hand in order to get running water again.  While this is business, don’t be too quick to abandon the manners your parents would be proud of.

Miscommunication is the number one cause for arguments, employees leaving a company, and couples divorcing.  How you communicate with your landlord is going to be critical to avoiding your dishwasher not running for the duration of your lease or your air conditioner getting repaired.  Know exactly what your lease says. Know what your state and county requires. Know what your options are if the landlord won’t work with you.  Often times, a landlord that won’t respond to the needs of their property isn’t aware of the legal obligations they have.  If you are able to calmly, clearly and professionally communicate issues with the property in regards to terms you have already agreed upon, you may have just learned to get what you need without having to fight for it (or maybe you’re just fighting smarter!)

It may be a battlefield out there, but don’t be too quick to declare war.  Know your allies and that just might be your landlord but just in case, know your lease.